Introduction.

Have you ever been at one of those crossroads in life where you are faced with a decision and, whichever choice you make, you know it will change the direction of your life?

Should I change job? Shall I ask her to marry me? Should I say yes if he asks? Should I start a business? Should we start a family?

I’ve probably faced more of these crossroads than most and the truth is I didn’t understand their significance until I reached a point when the decisions I made no longer took me forward, towards the success I so desperately wanted and needed.

A happy beginning

I’m the product of a normal, happyish, middleclass upbringing. My dad worked hard and had a good job as the managing director of a medium sized company. Mum supported him in his work and they were both pillars of the community, which was recognised when dad was awarded the MBE. It was a proud day when we accompanied him to the palace.

Having done well at school I was the first of the family to go to university and, on the back of my degree, got a good job to kick off my career in the corporate world. I was happy enough to follow this well-trodden path.

Some years later I met the woman of my dreams. We were married and a few years after that our two lovely children came along. My career was going well, we’d moved into our dream house and had the Mercedes in the drive.

The lump had appeared on my neck about 6 months before my wife insisted I went to the doctor.

My family, friends and work colleagues rallied around me brilliantly. Wanting to keep things as normal as possible, I didn’t take a sick-day off work throughout my treatment. When most of my hair had fallen out, as a result of the chemotherapy, I just shaved the rest off and carried on.

I was lucky. Ten months later, aged 42, I’d beaten the cancer. Getting the all clear should have been the start of a new lease of life but things just weren’t right and deep down I knew it.

Feeling trapped

Truth be told, I’d known this uncertainty before in my life. It had reared its head many years before, early in my career. I was working in advertising for a national newspaper and the inevitable happened. They brought in a new boss. I knew immediately; from then on work was going to be a nightmare. Every bone in my body said…

“You were meant for more than this; now is the time to get out.”

But I was married with my first child on the way and a mortgage to pay so I forced the feeling down and kept on putting up with the inner frustration; believing it was just part and parcel of working in the corporate world.

I didn’t know it at the time; but I was doing everything I could to distract myself from the feeling I wasn’t in the right place in my life. I worked harder, got busier and kept getting promoted so I stayed put. But after 15 years I couldn’t take it anymore and needed to get out.

I thought luck was on my side again when I was offered a job at a new start-up at the height of the dot com bubble. I knew I was being offered danger money, but I still took the job. I left my safe, high paying, director-level job to try and find something that mattered to me.

Within 9 months what should have been a once in a lifetime opportunity had turned into a nightmare.

The business was closed down and for the first time in twenty years I was without a job; just as we’d taken on a huge mortgage and were in the midst of re-modelling the house.

The next few years were marked by a slow and steady erosion of my self-confidence as I tried and failed with a couple of business ventures. Eventually I had to get another job and managed to get back into the corporate world of newspapers… But this time the salary wasn’t enough to paper over the cracks in the marriage and in myself.

The marriage came to an end and when I was made redundant, as a result of the 2008 financial crisis, I was a broken man.

Taking responsibility

It was the end of January and I was alone in my flat one evening. Getting through Christmas and New Year had been very tough and I was sitting with a glass of wine in one hand and the bottle in the other. Tears were rolling down my face as I sat there wondering how the hell it had come to this. That was the moment I decided to take responsibility for what had happened in my life. I decided to sort myself out and go after what I knew I’d been looking for, for so many years.

I started reading, educating myself – in everything from psychology and neuroscience, to spiritualism and religion and success and failure.

I joined various groups some were to do with business others were about spirituality and healing – I opened myself up to a whole new world of people and exposed myself to new ways of thinking.

After a long period of learning and effort and thinking in a new way things started to come together. Almost two years, to the day, after deciding to start my new business, I won my first client. A few weeks later I had a second client. I launched some workshops on emotional intelligence and people signed up to come. My consulting work was growing and I was starting to experience success again.

Almost before I knew it I’d written my first book, about personal resourcefulness and when I held the first printed copy I was overcome by an explosion of 35 years of bottled up emotion.

For the first time ever, it felt as if I had achieved something I always quietly knew I was capable of.

Now, for the first time in my life, I was doing something I loved; something people appreciated and benefitted from and I was getting paid for it.

When I held my book in my hands the emotion welled up in me, because in that moment I realised I’d always had the potential to achieve these things, I just hadn’t believed it and I didn’t know how to release it.

Betting the farm

It wasn’t long after I’d decided to start my business that a friend me invited to join a group of independent business people which met every month. I was full of trepidation when I first shared my business idea with them and it seemed like I was right to feel that way, when they didn’t react the way I’d hoped they would. There was no excitement, no pats on the back or amazement, just one question. Craig, a very successful internet entrepreneur and seasoned graduate of the school of hard knocks simple looked at me and asked, “Are you prepared to bet the farm on it?”

I left that meeting feeling quiet and squashed and sat with the question for a long time.

Looking back, having bet the farm and seen it pay off, I realized I’d been betting the farm my whole life. By staying put and staying small – it had eventually cost me everything. My marriage, my financial security, it threatened my relationship with my kids – the lot. We’re always betting the farm because what you give your days to, you give your life to. So I’d been betting the farm my whole life, I just didn’t let myself see it.

One benefit to come out of my redundancy was that I got to spend time with my dad in his final days. I was able to take him to his hospital visits, I was able to sit with him in the nursing home even when he wasn’t aware I was there.

I often think back to the last day I saw him alive. He had been a very successful man and as a result was able to give me, and my brothers, a childhood lifestyle that most people couldn’t have dreamed of and I’m very grateful for that. But I’ll always remember the words he said after he took early retirement from his high paying, high status job because he’d just had his third heart attack.

“Thank god I don’t have to do that anymore”

He’d lived his life in frustration and fear, disconnected from the things inside him that could have given him joy, peace and fulfilment. He did it for his wife – my mum, for me and my brothers. He’d lived a life of stress and anxiety and for a large part of it, smoking and drinking had been his way of dealing with it. That’s what led him to 3 heart attacks by the age of 53, nearly killing him along the way. I’d come to realise that, unwittingly, I had followed a very similar path and my life had followed the very same pattern. Although I’ve never smoked, I’m now sure my cancer was a result of living in a constant state of stress and anxiety.

As I watched my dad decline over those last months, it was a massive wake-up call for me.

To future success

We all have the seed of success inside us. I felt the pull of the seed inside me for many years but never had the courage to look at it and take notice of it.

When we’re young we think we have forever but time goes by and we start to believe the boundaries that other people put on our success. But the seed of our true success stays alive inside us forever.

There’s an old saying that people don’t change until the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change. It would take me a lost marriage, a failed career and the fear of losing my kids to create enough pain inside me to give me the motivation to change. And it would take me the investment of years and £000’s to learn that the crossroads we all face, at various times in our lives, is when we feel the call of our seed of success.

The only question is “Are you willing to answer that call?”

Invitation

We all have the seed of success inside us and it never dies. If you’d like to get back connected with yours and live a life that is energised and full of passion; for you and everyone else in your life then come and join me in The Thinking Revolution.

It took me 35 years, a failed career and a failed marriage to learn that there isn’t a formula for success and that success doesn’t come from having a great idea or from possessing an incredible talent. It comes from understanding five core principles.

These five principles have been understood and followed by all successful people. Some people are lucky enough to be born into an environment where these principles are understood and nurtured and they go on to achieve great success in their lives. But what about the rest of us?

The principles aren’t taught at school or university and so we spend a lifetime trying to work them out.

If you’ve read to here then you’ve seen the 5 Principles laid out and, if you’d like to learn more about them, all you have to do is fill in one of the boxes you can see on the page.

Get The Beginner’s Guide To The Brain, The Mind and Thinking – NOW

Are you stuck in a rut, frustrated and wanting to make a fresh start? If so; this FREE and unique training is for you.

When you sign up you will become part of a community of people who want to achieve their true success in life and support each other as they go on this wonderful journey.

You will receive a series of emails from me which will be the start of a conversation that will help you see how your thinking is connected to, or disconnected from, the seed of the success that’s inside you and you will also receive my free book: The Beginner’s Guide to The Brain, The Mind and Thinking.

The Beginner’s Guide will help you take your first steps towards mastering your thinking.

I’ve spent a lot of time and money learning how the brain is connected to the way we think and I’ve put it all together in this FREE book. It will help you see some of the ways in which your mind can play tricks on you and keep you from seeing that seed of your own success. It also gives you some tips and tricks with which you can fight back.

We all have the seed of success inside us; so come and join The Thinking Revolution and feel yours start to sprout and grow so you can fulfil the potential you know have inside.

 

With my best wishes for you on your journey to success,

Dean Stuart's SignatureDene Stuart
Chief Thinking Officer

Get The Beginner’s Guide To The Brain, The Mind and Thinking – NOW

Are you stuck in a rut, frustrated and wanting to make a fresh start? If so; this FREE and unique training is for you.